Where Bariatic Weight Loss meets a "Die-Hard Foodie" and chaos ensues.

What Now?

StressI have always prided myself on being self aware.  Recently, I learned that I was not as self aware as I thought.

I have been under tremendous stress.  I have had stressors in my life that have caused me to lose sleep and spend a lot of time crying.  My temper is short.  I’m tired.  Panic attacks have started and overall I am a hot emotional mess.  It is in the midst of this mess that I realized for years I have been self medicating.

When people asked me about my eating habits a year ago I would tell them the wonderfulness of my diet.  I eat organic.  I eat lean, fresh, non-antibiotic meats and eggs.  I eat seafood.  I eat fresh greens and steamed veggies.  Sure I would indulge in sweets and boy could I hold my liquor, but overall I ate healthy.  What I did not realize is that I was also a HUGE stress eater/drinker.  I can see it so clearly now because in the midst of everything life is throwing at me the very things I used to cope with this kind of pressure are the same things I cannot have.

I haven’t had a panic attack in years.  You know why?  Because pre surgery when life went to hell I would go to the Royal Oaks order a double of Jameson neat and a order of garlic wings and work on that until I either felt better or was buzzed enough to sleep.  Or I would go to the store buy blackberries, vanilla ice cream, and proceed to make drunken blackberry cobbler with a whisky sauce that would make a 5 star chef wish they had my recipe.  That’s how I slowly went from a size 14 (when I got married) to a size 28 (just before surgery).

So what does a girl do now?  The upside is I can still eat bacon!

Total weight loss:  103lbs