Where Bariatic Weight Loss meets a "Die-Hard Foodie" and chaos ensues.

Posts tagged ‘Dating’

Compliment? Are you sure?

When a person decides to take on Surgical Weight Loss it is not something that you wake up on Monday and say “hey, let’s spend the next six months hanging out in doctor’s offices.” It’s never that arbitrary, (or at least it shouldn’t be).  This is a ‘I’ve done all I can do on my own and unless Jillian Michaels or Bob what’s-his-name are going to move in my house along with Oprah’s chef – I need help’ kind of deal.

So, when you put it out in the universe that you are going to do this, people have all kinds of reactions to you.  Some say “way to go!”  Others say nothing as not appear rude or disapproving.  Still different people will offer you advice on how to do it without such a drastic change.  And my favorite are those who find out I had to lose significant weight prior to surgery (30 pounds to date! Yay Me!) who say “well why don’t you just keep doing that” (because I actually NEED to lose more weight than my current diet will achieve).  Anyway, I’m good with pretty much all the reactions.  While I cherish my privacy, when you drop half a person in less than a year people will notice and ask.  However, I was not completely prepared for what I heard yesterday.

Overweight women tend to have a harder row to hoe in the dating arena.  Not because we are any less funny, charming, kind, or cool.  It is because our bodies tend not to be society’s ideal. I get that.  That is not a news flash.  What angered me was being told how cool and funny I was; only to then have tacked on that when I lose my weight men will flock to me because I’ll then be cool as hell AND physically appealing.  WHAT!  I consider myself pretty darn cute right now.  Overall health aside — I have never seen me as unattractive.

Talk about a backhand compliment. Men can be fat and still be dateable, but not women and that just sucks.  I get preferences.  I prefer men who are taller than my 5’3”, with jobs, reliable transportation, and good hygiene.  I figure personalities will sort themselves out after the first date.  I guess my biggest offense comes from this dude basically telling me who I am as a person is not enough.  That’s a little hurtful.  I may be a handful, but rest assured right now, before I lose even one more ounce, I am pretty damn good as-is

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