I gave up a lot this year. I walked into 2014 willing to sacrifice pretty much whatever was asked of me in hopes of regaining my health. I surrendered my love of good food. I gave up sugar, soda, and any kind of processed food. I even gave up taking any time for myself in the midst of a very stressful job. No vacation this year — at all. I have given countless doctors thousands of dollars in co-pays, premiums, “special supplement costs”, and every single sick AND vacation minute I’ve accrued.
Walking into the hospital on the 22nd I was optimistic that this was the right thing. I walked out the evening of the 23rd tired, sore, but ready to start this new chapter. On the 24th I developed a horrible complication which landed me back in the hospital for a 2nd major surgery in as many days and a considerably longer stay because my kidneys decided that was too much stress and they needed a couple mental health days. I was finally cleared to come home AGAIN the afternoon of the 27th. Terrified, swollen, bloated, sore, exhausted, and really only wanting to sleep I went home, but have yet to be able to lay in a bed. Me and the recliner are best friends.
You’d think ‘ok well we are a week in now and she should be getting back to normal.’ And, to that I’d tell you, my right side is wonderful. Very little pain. Good range of motion. My left side is a little more “drama queen-ish” and she has decided to hang on to her trauma. So, because of her stubbornness pre-surgery I weighed in at 263 — post surgery I am a hearty 274 and I haven’t had anything more substantial than 4 oz. of a very disgusting protein shake once since the 20th. I don’t think sugar-free jello and water count.
I walk daily, but I can’t eat. I mean that literally. The protein supplement you spend a crapload of money on is only tolerable when you can chug it, but when forced to sip, it makes me heave. And in case you’re wondering that is a HORRIBLE thing to do because you may rupture something. So I have subsisted on runny mashed potatoes because it’s the only thing that doesn’t make me puke. Unfortunately, that has little to no protein in it so I may start losing hair. WOW! WONDERFUL! This surgery just keeps on giving doesn’t it!
I’m stuck with my decision. I am not one to wallow in regrets. However, I will say this. If I knew even 2 weeks ago what I know now I would just said to hell with it and skipped this all together. On my list of piss poor choices — Bariatric surgery has shot to number 1.