Good morning folks! I had a really candid conversation with a friend about weight loss, weight loss surgery, and being healthy. I have been extremely blessed in that everyone in my life either close or on the periphery has been extremely supportive during my process.
I remember this person preparing me for the negativity when I told her I was going to have “the surgery” and I thought “who is going to be mean about that?” I mean really its a personal health choice and while I get people not necessarily understanding my reasons or my needs I had a hard time imagining people being hostile about it. Then I had to bully my primary care physician into giving me the referral. And of course during the counseling sessions you go through the counselor said I should prepare for people to treat me differently and negative reactions to this choice. THEN the dietician said the same to me and I began to wonder what it was about losing weight that made people behave so horribly to a person. Who wouldn’t celebrate someone taking their life back and becoming healthy. So, I prepared myself for this. and lo and behold it was a wasted exercise. This NEVER happened to me.
I have had people question my choice. It has always been done with respect and curiosity rather than disdain. I had one guy tell me I would finally be dateable (I no longer talk to him). I have had the side eye when I go out with friends and eat less than 1/2 of a child sized portion of food. We all laugh about it and they joke I’ll be eating my entrée for 3 days. I learned early in life some things are just not worth feeling bad about especially when teasing comes from love and not malice. And rather than be mean about my weight loss my friends and family cheer me on. They are genuinely happy for me.
I think this process shines a spotlight on the kind of person you are. I am a firm believer that who you were fat is just exemplified as you shed the pounds. If you were a fat bitch you just shrink into a skinny bitch. If you were miserable fat you are still miserable skinny. If you were mean spirited and elitist fat then you are that same mean spirited elitist person skinny. You have to work on you at its root. Health benefits of losing weight aside if you do not work on who you are at your core losing weight will not fix it.
Oftentimes fat folks are excused because it is assumed we all suffer from poor self image. After all at a certain size we are so far from what society deems beautiful or handsome that people will excuse a sour attitude and blame it on our weight. However, people are less forgiving the closer you get to what society deems acceptable. The truth is many people may very well be reacting to you as a person rather than the weight you loss.
Now I’m sure this is not the case 100% of the time, and in those cases of true spitefulness I say brush your shoulders off. You can’t expect everyone to be in your corner and as long as you love yourself others opinions are just like assholes and sometimes just as nasty. However, if its everyone maybe you should look at who you surround yourself with and take a longer look at yourself.
**Down to 219 — Yay Me!!!!!