Where Bariatic Weight Loss meets a "Die-Hard Foodie" and chaos ensues.

3:24 AM… Randomness

Please forgive any grammatical errors in this post.  It’s 3:24, I’m in bed, on an iPad (instead of at a PC) and I just shouldn’t be held responsible for misusing “to” when I meant “too”.

So, a few things.  I talked to a guy yesterday who agreed to be my personal trainer.  He was so sweet and kind.  Believe it or not I never lacked confidence in myself as a person.  It must be the Sagittarius in me, because I always felt secure in who I am despite my weight, but being able to admit that I cannot get myself in shape alone.  *Whew* that was hard for me.  He made it easy to ask for help and I appreciate him for that!

I went to church Sunday.  That’s freaking HUGE!  MASSIVE!  I have my reasons for not going, but I got an IM from a childhood friend basically asking me when I was coming.  We had a brief convo where I told him I don’t do congregations.  And to be honest I didn’t plan on going.  However, Sunday I got up, got dressed, and went.  And I’m glad I did.  Sometimes in the midst of stressful times God speaks to us in unlikely places.  And for me church is about as unlikely as a monk in a strip club.

My job may be easing up soon.  I swear for the last 6 weeks I have felt completely overwhelmed.  10 hour work days.  Trying to juggle 4 separate programs.  Phone calls.  E-mails.  Home Visits.  Excel files.  Lists.  Letters. Nursing Homes.  All of this and keeping a smile on my face has been a challenge.  One I suspect I have been failing.  (Read I’ve been a bitch).  To all my friends who have overlooked it, forced me to laugh about it, or just forced a hug on me in spite of myself…  Damn I love y’all!

I’m exhausted, which means I’m in bed by 9 and awake between 3 and 5… I gave up caffeine and sugar and that means I’m cranky, but on the plus side I am down 35lbs by myself.  That is important to me.  Because even though I am having this surgery Tuesday, this proves to me I am ready, committed, and capable of changing this aspect of my life.  It’s getting close and I’m a little scared and a lot nervous.  And in truth I’m looking forward to the anesthesia… I may get some real sleep.


Comments on: "3:24 AM… Randomness" (2)

  1. Recie Peace said:

    You’ve always been strong. Oh, and CHURCH?!

    • Thanks Lady! I try to portray strength even when I don’t feel strong. And as for church… Well let’s just say too much info is a horrible thing and I haven’t been willingly in years.

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