Last night I admitted something that I have been thus far afraid to admit. I spoke into the atmosphere the very thing I have been afraid of speaking. I owned that I believe God does not reside in any religion. Nope, I’m sorry I don’t believe God takes up residence in any one faith. I cannot accept that God is so shallow that he would cast a the vast majority of earth’s population into the burning abyss of hell while exclusively forgiving some of the foulest behavior imaginable from those who profess to worship him, simply because they say, rather than behave as if, they believe in Him.
You see, by the stats, no one faith holds the majority of worshipers. Rather, each faith is a minority. This means, if any one faith is the sole authority on God’s mind then that leaves the vast majority of people in this world outside of God’s grace and therefore outside His eternal love. That sucks and speaks to a human arrogance that is beyond comprehension. How can we really know God’s mind?
In the movie Remember the Titans there is a moment when after 4 a-day practices Julius and Gerry give into Coach Boone’s requirement that all the football players must take the time to get to know every member of their team who is of the opposite race. During that exchange Gerry proceeds to tell Julius that he is a selfish waste of “God-given” talent and to that statement Julius responds “Attitude reflects leadership…Captain”. This one quote has carried me through many situations, but it has found its most poignant place in my personal search for God.
Attitude reflects leadership. If God is really your captain, why is it that so many in religious settings show such an open disdain for his spirit? I’m not just talking Christians either. Islam is literally defined as submission to God. Yet, somehow you want me to wrap my mind around the God sanctioned destruction of thousands of lives. Hmmmm. I can’t do it.
Judaism is literally defined as the religion of the Jews based on the covenant between God and Abraham. This is the very covenant in which God showed such a disdain for oppressive rulers that he sent down 10 plagues to force Pharaoh to free the Israelites; yet, these very descendants oppress and actively segregate and brutalize the Palestinians. So you’d have me believe that’s God? Not so much.
And then there are the Christians who use the bible to browbeat and oppress anyone who has the audacity to believe God loves them outside of the context of salvation. The bible has been used to justify so social injustices from slavery to child abuse and tons of things in between. Yeah… I’m sure that’s what Jesus had in mind when he died on the cross… Let’s see if I can make this thing exclusive rather than inclusive. NOT!
How can those attitudes reflect God as leadership? So, the next logical question is since I feel religion is such a humanly fallible institution, do I in turn feel we should get rid of it? The answer is no.
I believe that religion allows us to worship God in a context that is comfortable to us. I creates an atmosphere by which we can forge a relationship with our creator right where we are. I just think that we should be extremely careful where religion is concerned and not confuse it with the nature, wonder and soveriegnty of God.
So where does that leave me? I have a new-found friend and confidante to whom I have opened my life to in a very complete way. When talking to this person I have admitted that right now I feel I am standing in the middle of nothing. A void. A multi intersected crossroad with no signs. I am not lost because I know exactly where I am but where I am is inconsequential. It just is. I am not in distress being here. I’m not depressed or angry. I simply am.
What does this have to do with God and/or religion? It creates a sense of anticipation and anxiousness for me. I am looking in many different directions and trying to find the best path to discover God’s purpose for my life. I know this purpose does not lie in any church house. I know that I have a calling on my life that requires teaching. I know that this “teaching” has nothing to do with Christian based preaching.
I see God in everything. I see him in Christianity, Islam and Judaism. I see him in the ideals of Rastafari, Hinduism, Taoism and Buddhism. I appreciate the concepts of His living in nature in every living being as expressed by even *gasp* the native cultures and aboriginal people. I am personally not comfortable with a polytheistic view of God, but my belief in one God does not negate the validity of anyone else’s belief system.
I recognize God in everything from the air I breathe to the homeless person who may sit outside my job. Yet, even in all of this I don’t experience him the way I see many Christians experience him. I have been conditioned to a certain response (sounds like Pavol’s dogs huh?) and if place in a high emotional worship setting I can perform with the best of them, but often times I am left feeling like I somehow missed the move of God.
The flip side of that is, when I recognize a spiritual truth no matter what faith it comes from a piece of me opens up to accept it. I know I will never be a typical Christian again. I am not converting to any other faith, I believe Jesus died for my sins and I am by no means denouncing that salvation. I am; however, expressing the truth that God meets us where we are and opens our eyes to his truth and that does not always occur in the midst of religion. Sometimes it happens in spite of religion.
I cannot go back to that judgmental existence. Now comes the hard part — trusting God to guide my steps in the midst of this journey and trusting that He knows what He is doing while I learn to be open to Him in all things.
